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Amusing Construction Humor


Six Phases of a Construction Project:

one)Enthusiasm

two)Disillusionment

three)Worry

four)Lookup For The Responsible

five)Punishment Of The Harmless

6)Praise & Honors For The Non-Individuals

Directory of Construction Terminology:

Contractor – A gambler that in no way will get to reduce, shuffle or deal.

Bid Opening – A poker recreation wherever the dropping hand wins.

Bid – A wild guess carried out to two decimal locations.

Reduced Bidder – A contractor who is questioning why he is left out.

Engineer’s Estimate – The price of construction in heaven.

Project Manager – The conductor of an orchestra in which each and every musician is in a unique union.

Vital Path Strategy – A management procedure for dropping your shirt less than personalized regulate.

OSHA – A protecting coating built by fifty percent-baking a mixture of fantastic print, purple tape, break up hairs, and
baloney – normally applied at random with a shotgun.

Strike – An energy to maximize egg manufacturing by strangling the rooster.

Delayed Payment – A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Completion Day – The place wherever liquidated damages start out.

Liquidated Damages – A penalty for failing to reach the unachievable.

Auditor – A individual who goes in soon after the war is misplaced and bayonets the wounded.

Attorney – A individual who goes in soon after the auditors and strips the bodies.

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